Pocket full of rocks

John 8

2Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more

As I prayed this morning and I continue to ask God for revival of His church, He continues to press on me the condition of our hearts. I have read this story about the woman and how the religious leaders of the day wanted to stone her but something different spoke to me today. Repentance! I’m looking past the woman and thinking about the men, Jesus clearly convicted them of their own sin but they all quietly put down their stones and left. Jesus has written in the sand many times in my life and right now I am considering how many times I dropped my stone and walked away and even worse how many have I thrown and justified my conviction. If God says all sin is equal why do I insist on classifying it? I understand that I will not be perfect until the day I see Him face to face and “there is one mediator between God and man”, the Lord Jesus Christ so I do not need to be drug into the center of town and display my sin but I do need to stop dragging other people there. The body is called to be united and to love each other but that is very hard to do when I am weighted down with this pocket full of rocks. God has set me free from addiction, He has forgiven me for abortion, He has rescued me from abuse and somewhere I have mistakenly believed that I have arrived, that I have achieved some great religious experience and just like the Pharisees and scribes sometimes I forget who actually did that. My confusion in religion and relationship has sucked me into this false since of pride that holds me back from remembering the joy of that moment when Jesus said to me “neither do I condemn you”. While I was yet a sinner Christ died for me, I can’t think of anything that even comes close to comparing to that. So today I repent from judging myself by the outward appearance of others, for continuing to be defeated by a life I no long have, for not believing “He who has begun a good work in you will continue”, for allowing the generational sins of my family to continue in me, and for allowing fear to hold back my surrender to Him. I believe that God can do all things above and beyond anything I can think or ask and today I will walk in that.