I am very scattered today; my mind is jumping from one topic to the next searching for an answer to what I am looking for but what am I looking for? My desire is to make a difference, to let my walk with Christ show someone else truth and point them to Him. To be relevant to a generation that looks at life with a different world view through technology and a completely different society than I grew up in. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and even though truth and sin have not changed the next generation is being taught a new definition for those very words. There is no influence at the end of a pointing finger and no healing for the broken when the church is focused more on fighting for their rights than for the souls of the lost. Jesus told the rich young ruler “go and sell all of your possessions and give to the poor” still we have mega churches that crush the hopeless with promises of wealth in exchange for faith. Even in all of this Jesus is still relevant His truth is still true, and His love is still the only thing that mends the soul and the next generation is still searching for Him in exactly the same way I did with no understanding of what I was even looking for. The condition has never changed just the circumstances surrounding them. “The Devil like a roaring lion” is still “seeking whom he may devour” the thought that keeps coming to my head is he is probably so full he is getting lazy. For me the answer is real, as I think about my society I am surrounded by fake. Fake looks, fake wealth, fake love, fake worship, fake security and as I look back at history I clearly see “there is nothing new under the sun”, “it is all vanity”. No child has ever been saved by prayer in school but God’s people praying for them earnestly, has saved millions. This government will never come together for the good of the people when each side is only looking for self-gain. I will not reach anyone in the next generation by searching for myself in this walk with Jesus. I began this journey with the hope of freeing myself by examining the generational sins of my family but they are just the same as every other family from the beginning to the present. Today God does not want me to continue to walk in circles in the wilderness trying to find me but to walk the straight path to find Him. As I climb down off of my soapbox God has revealed to me that even in seeking His will I can become my own idol. God knew me and loved me before the creation and He knew every step from conception to death and He loved me and came after me anyway and He says “put away childish things”, “seek ye first the kingdom of God”, be real! My challenge is to live out loud the change God has made in me, to walk not with learned behaviors but with true love for my God and church family.