I have not written in a while because I am stuck in this place of examining myself and trying to allow God to renew my mind. This idea of bringing every thought captive and one day giving an account for every spoken word has turned my every movement into an examination!! Even though I laugh as I say that the task is more overwhelming than I even have words to express. I’m pretty sure that in just my eight hour work day I have over a million thoughts of some sort run through my mind and the two that glorify God tend to make me feel pretty good about myself. With the joking aside the amount of grace and mercy I require each day is humbling and I am grateful for it. This past year has been filled with some extreme emotions both good and bad and I can still say I am in awe that this is my life. I don’t wake up hopeless and afraid and even on my worst days God is with me, that’s a game changer. That is the first bite of the elephant, the beginning of every thought captive and the renewing of my mind, I no longer start the day with the same perspective and already I am different. I have traded dread for joy and He is making me a conqueror; it is in the place of reflection that my faith grows and I am restored. Today I think about all the people that are right now in the place I have been rescued from, and this is Christmas! “Unto you a child is born”, a Savor, He came to seek and to save those who are lost, I have a life I should not have because of a love I do not understand that is full of grace I do not deserve, and my God is faithful. In the busyness of life; He lifts up my face when I am down, He sets my feet on the Rock when I am stumbling, He comforts me when I grieve, and He rejoices in my victories; I am a sinner with no ability to fix it and He put His arms around me and said you look tired, let me carry that ugly mess for you. The world I live in is ever changing and how I see those changes and react to them is where the renewing of the mind happens, my choice to look for something good every day and in every situation truly renews my mind. This elephant isn’t half bad, I just need to stop worrying about how to eat it and take a bite!! He calls me beloved!! Merry Christmas!