Stepping Out

“I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know who holds the future” I am in a constant state of reminding myself that He is faithful. Church folks call this place I am at in my journey “stepping out in faith”; it feels more like base jumping with zero information on how to go about it. God is leading me so far out of my comfort zone to this place I might have imagined as a young child, but through the years lost all hope of ever finding. In the last few months, 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation,”; has continually run around in my mind. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come”. Since the first time I read that verse, I have had this spark of hope that one day I would also be a new creation and so I have spent many years working on becoming something that He made me the day I met Him. It does take time and intentionally seeking to hear His voice, but it is the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2) that changes me. That all sounds wonderful, and “I’m in.” I have been strolling on this new path for a couple of months now, and my emotions are a mixture of excitement and terror constantly warring each other. My Shepherds quiet voice continues to say, “follow me,” but stepping out of my hiding place into the forefront of my life requires me to see the world differently. My past is behind the mountain; ashes are all that remains, but my future is the beauty He created me to be. What I have come to understand is true beauty comes from His reflection and not mine. I am a jar of clay filled with hidden treasure; the only thing I have to bring is the gifts and talents He has given to me. My path has come to the swamp of vulnerability, and the unknown danger that is lurking just under the surface causes me to pause. He is waiting for me to assess the current situation; I can’t see the end of this swamp in any direction; there is nothing to go back to, and I am left to choose set down or be brave? My comment to Him, “it’s dark in there,” to which He replies, “that’s why I gave you light.” He’s a funny guy; I’m sure on the day of judgment when they roll the volumes in on my turn, I will see some eye-rolling. His peace overwhelms me, and I reach for His hand once again. He calls me Beloved!

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