Rebellion

1 Samuel: 15

Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
and to listen than the fat of rams.
23For rebellion is as the sin of divination,
and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry

Today God is speaking to me about an issue that I like to skim over and that is presumption. The scripture above is from a story about Saul losing his place as king for his disobedience to God. He went to do what God told him to do but when he got there he listened to the voices around him and he followed their advice instead of doing exactly what he was told. I have this combination of impatience and assuming that brings me to disobedience more than I like to admit. I’m looking at my life as a Christian and it hurts to admit how many times I have went to the Lord with a request or a need and then took it upon myself to create my own blessing. I have read this story several times and I seem to skip over most of the Old Testament as a story about Israel and not a lesson from the mistakes of others. I do not go to God and ask for things like money and fame and out of the ordinary unusual things so I tend to go ahead of God and listen to my own reasoning and do what I believe He would want for me. I am seeing for the first time the idolatry in that behavior and I can almost hear “how’s that been working out for you”. So much of my life has been a train wreck and so much of it has resulted from my choices and somehow I continue to presume I know what God wants for me. “As a dog returns to his own vomit” I fall back on the things I have known and do what is right in my own eyes with my own ability. Somewhere along the way I have been convinced that I am not worth the best and that I should just accept good enough because it is better than I had but my Father in heaven gives “good gifts”. My obedience is halfhearted, I go to Him and ask but even though He has proved so many times that His plan is to give me the best I choose to believe He sees me the way I do. Half obedience is full rebellion and assuming what He has for me makes me my own idol; I never saw that coming! My choice now is do I continue down the path of Saul and try to cover the condition of my heart or do I actually let God destroy the old me and remake me into the new me? Again it is not about the right choice, I know what that is, but how? “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”, somehow Paul always knows what to say. I’m not sure what tomorrow brings but I know there is no future going backward so “I will press toward the mark for the high calling of Christ Jesus” with everything I have today.

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